Innocents Abroad

Nursery in Progress

2012-02-14T17:33:00.001-05:00

Bevin's room is almost finished! The walls have been painted, the rug rolled out, and artwork on the walls. But we still have a few serious steps to take...like a crib! Ha! Micah is still occupying our family crib even though he has moved into a room with his big brother. So for the interim Bevin is sleeping in her pack and play bassinet as you will see a few photos down. No worries! She has not made one peep about it.

A few items have been hung on the walls. It can be a little intimidating to hang things on your freshly painted walls but sometimes you just have to go for it! I did hang this too high originally and I have to patch one small hole. No worries.

I LOVE the way that the stripes turned out! Don't you?

I also love the simple framed birth announcement. All I did was scotch tape Bevin's birth announcement to a piece of vintage wallpaper. (I can say vintage right? It is a Ralph Lauren pattern from 2000 so it is a decade old. At least it sounds cooler to say "vintage") Then I cut the paper to fit a frame that I got from T.J Max. I originally did it as a temporary fix until I printed the right sized photo but NOW I love it just the way it is. Don't you love how that happens!

Some day a crib will go where the pack and play is now. We are playing around with the idea of getting her a new crib that converts into a toddler bed and letting Micah stay in his crib as long as he needs. Believe me, nobody wants that one wandering the house alone at night. Recently I found Micah in the kitchen chopping the tops off of strawberries with our largest knife. And before that I caught him Windexing the wall with a disinfecting wipe. As soon as I caught him in action he took a big bite out of the wipe! That story ended with extra babyproofing and a phone call to the pediatrician and poison control!

Miss B enjoying the view...

...of her bear mobile.

Talking to them.

Making sure her sheep is close at hand.

Well Visits - Bevin Noelle

2012-02-11T17:22:00.003-05:00

Bevin had her 2 month well visit at the pediatrician on Friday!

B's getting to be such a BIG girl! She is already moving past the 0-3 and wearing 3-6 outfits and sleepers!

Her newest tricks include: smiling and laughing at us and her brothers, she most definitely knows her mama's voice, loves her orca whale sounds/sound machine, swaddling still brings her comfort, she has been sleeping a 5 hour stretch in her bassinet in her own room up until this past week as she has had her first cold, and she can kick and punch like nobodys business!

B went from weighing 6 lbs. 5 oz. at her 2 week doctor appointment to 12 lbs. 10 oz. yesterday at her 2 month visit! That is a doubling of weight. Most excellent job my dear! So she went from the 55% on the preemie chart to the 80% on the BIG GIRL chart. Nice.

2 Week: weight-6 lb. 5 oz.

length-19 1/4"

head size-13"

2 Month: weight-12 lb. 10oz.

length-21 3/4"

head size-14 1/2"

I must apologize for the lack of posts as of late! My hands and heart have been full in the bestest of ways!

Grow B Grow!

Christmas Morning 2011

2012-02-01T15:32:00.001-05:00

Santa came!

Opening gifts

The only pic of Miss B

Micah, excited about underwear!

Stickers

Miss B and Her Bruising

2012-01-30T10:04:00.004-05:00

Day 10

Micah and His 2 Birthday

2012-01-30T09:42:00.009-05:00

Bevin's Birth Story - Part 3

2012-01-26T12:31:00.023-05:00

Saturday was a healing day. The cpap was doing its job and keeping her oxygen levels up. It was also discharge day for me. I worked on resting and pumping milk in my room. We checked out that night around 11 PM and went home to sleep in our own beds.

Sunday is even better! The cpap comes off! The nurse moved her feeding tube from her mouth to her nose and she got her first feeding. 10 ml of breastmilk! We can actually see her face and hair! She also gets another chest x-ray and the hole in her lung has healed up! Such encouraging news!

First feeding!

Unwashed hair

It's so fun to finally see Bevin looking like a baby.

Dark hair but light underneath.

B starts in with light therapy for her jaundice.

Monday they clamp off her chest tube to make sure that it is no longer needed before removing it. Progress keeps being made and no set backs! We are so thankful.

She loves to stretch when she gets the chance!

She is able to keep the 10 ml of milk down so they move it up to 20!

The bruising on the eyelids makes its appearance.

Bottle feeding starts Monday too!

The nurse does the bottle feeding because of the chest tube.

Breastmilk in these bottles too! She does really well and keeps them down so they keep adding more milk at each feeding.

Even though I can't feed her yet I try to get as close as possible!

Burping!

Tuesday the chest tube comes out! The x-ray showed the hole had healed up so the doctor took it out and put a dressing on. She can finally lay on her side for a little bit and she seems to love it!

We FINALLY get to hold her and give her a bottle!

She is so light and tiny!

Wednesday I get to try breastfeeding! She latched right on the first try. My easiest breastfeeder ever!

It's so fun to finally hold her!

Thursday I decided to stay for the day and Phil goes into work for a half day. I want to be there so that I can keep breastfeeding on a regular schedule.

I wait around all morning for the doctor to come by and give his report but there is a lot going on and a new patient that needs his attention. I wait as long as I can but at 1:00 pm decide to go to lunch...

...and OF COURSE while I am gone the doctor comes and orders off her light therapy and oxygen! I was so surprised when I walked into her room. I know that this means she will get to go home soon! They also stop her antibiotics and take out the IV.

Friday I decide to stay the whole day AND I drive myself to the hospital myself. I wasn't supposed to drive for a week after giving birth. She gets her hearing screen while she is taking the 2 hour car seat test. She has to keep her oxygen levels up while sitting in her car seat before she can go home. Also I have to watch 3 videos before she can be discharged. One about shaken baby syndrome which just about makes me sick and I have to close my eyes to calm my anxiety. The other 2 were about SIDS and car seat safety.

She passes both tests and I don't remember why but they want her to stay another night, maybe even two. That night Phil and I rearrange the car seats in the car and make room for her infant seat!

The next morning Bevin is swaddled up and laying in a regular baby hospital bassinet!

All cleaned up and ready to go home!

After signing a paper or two and putting her footprint on the wall she gets to go home! Our nurse packs up her breastmilk and gives us a huge bag full of diapers, bottles, wipes etc. We are a little nervous but excited to take her home to her brothers!

Going home on day 9!

Read about Bevin going home here!

Why We Chose the Name Bevin

2012-01-20T14:56:00.004-05:00

Ever wonder how you got your name? It is kind of a big deal for parents! There is pressure. Expectations from family. You are naming a person and you don't even know them yet. You have not seen them and you have never officially met face to face!

Some decisions that I have to make are stressful. Like when Phil was choosing his internship. I fasted and prayed over it. We made lists of pros and cons for all the options. And when we finally did make our decision we had to try it out and see if it was a good fit. But then yesterday I chose new glasses and tried on tons of pairs. I picked a few to take home to try and get opinions. Right when the girl helping me was boxing them up I turned around and literally picked up a pair off the display and tried them on. They were the ones! I apologized for being difficult and ordered them right there. Sometimes the right thing just jumps right out in front of you! Don't you just love that?!

Way back when we found out that we were having a girl we felt some pressure. We had never picked a girl name before! Over the course of 2 evenings we took turns reading all of the girl names aloud from a baby name book. It was nice and entertaining for the boys and hey we were spending time together but we didn't like any of them. None of the names felt right. In the process I found an old post it note in the book with 2 girl names written on it. It was from when we were looking for a girl name during Luke's pregnancy. I suggested it again to Phil and he didn't like it but he did not rule it out.

We were mostly just passing time in between ultrasounds. We wanted to name this baby whether she was born alive or not. Once we were given the all clear from the high risk doctor and the baby was doing well from what we could tell in the ultrasounds we started the name thing again. I just kept bringing up the name Bevin. It meant "Fair Lady" and I really liked that idea and liked the sound of the name. It was different but Phil still wasn't sure. We kept trying it out and saying it. As people were asking us about names we would mention it and try it out. I felt like it just felt right!

One day I decided to google the name Bevin and see what came up? Not very much did but I did find this picture:

Bevin Prince

It kind of freaked me out! This girl kind of looks like me or I look like her! Now I know there is no way to know what our Bevin will look like but this felt like a sign! Don't you think so? I found no other Bevins and I found that Bevin is not on any popular baby name list anywhere. That was appealing to me. She could be her own person and identity from the beginning!

So from then on I just knew that her name would be Bevin! Some decisions are super easy! Phil came to a similar conclusion by trying out the name and getting good feedback from other people. I think that he needed affirmation from someone outside of me that it was a nice name. So that was that. The middle name was not so easy...

On delivery day after Bevin was born my mother in law wrote out two different spellings of Bevin's full name so that we could look at it and pick a spelling of Noelle.

Noelle means "Merry Christmas" in French. We tentatively decided that Noelle would be her middle name if Bevin was born before or around Christmas. We just had not decided on a spelling. When I looked at Bevin Noel and Bevin Noelle I just liked the way that the 2nd spelling looked better! Plus I liked that the spelling would be different than the NOEL sign that you see in Christmas decorations around the holidays. So that was that!

Bevin Noelle Wagler

Bevin's Birth Story - Part 2

2012-01-18T11:13:00.022-05:00

The last time I left you we were still in the delivery room dreaming about snacks and baby names. Bevin had been whisked away to the nursery.

Soon the nurses moved me over to a recovery room. After a while Phil and his mom decided to go down to the nursery and check on Bevin before she was going to head home. I felt bad that my mother in law did not get to see Bevin yet or hold her. She still didn't get to because she was not allowed to go into the nursery and it was hard to see her from so far away. Phil was able to go into the nursery and see her because he was the dad. He snapped this photo of her. A nurse was waving oxygen above her face. I am so glad that he took this photo because it was all I had of her looking like a normal newborn for days.

While they were gone Barbara and I were chatting about whether or not she was going to head home too. She had a four hour drive ahead of her and she had been at 2 births that day. Phil saw his mom off and decided to go home and see the boys. He was going to stay home with them so that my mom could come visit too. She had been at our house all afternoon taking care of Luke and Micah. While he was gone the nurse came in to tell me that they were sending Bevin up to the NICU. They said that she needed more oxygen. I noticed they were not asking me permission they were telling me what was happening next. They assured me she was fine. I ordered some food and started eating it.

Next a NICU doctor came to my room. He introduced himself and told me that his shift was ending. He explained that he had started Bevin on antibiotics as a precaution. They did not yet know why she was having struggles to breathe. At that point he told me that she would be on the antibiotics for 5-6 days minimum. What????!!!!! And then he proceeded to question me about all her bruising! Luckily Barbara was with me and she could attest that it must have been from the quick birth. I went from 4cm to pushing in less than an hour and she was face up until the very last minute! The questioning flustered me a little bit. I didn't know why she was bruised? I had barely seen or touched my baby. After he left and I knew that i would not be nursing her tonight and that Bevin would not be rooming in with me Barbara and I decided that she could go ahead home. We didn't really know much.

After Barbara left my friend Sarah and the hospital chaplain showed up for a visit. Then my dad came into the room looking for me and Bevin. I told him that they had just taken her up to the NICU and I told him to go ahead and go see her. I couldn't go because I still couldn't move one of my legs. I did not know that they would not him in without one of her parents. So he left for home without seeing Bevin and then my mom showed up with Luke. Luke was so excited to see his sister and I was bummed that he didn't get to see her. "Maybe next time" he said! Oh dear. Maybe not?

While they were still visiting I called for the nurse so that I could go see Bevin. She helped me into a wheelchair and she took me up to the NICU. My mom took Luke home so that Phil could come back to the hospital. The nurse showed me how to scrub up my hands and do the 3 minute hand wash. I was wheeled back to her private room and i stood up on my own for the first time since getting the epidural. My recovery time was over it seemed. The seriousness of the situation overtook me. Bevin was laying in a warming bed with oxygen on her nose. She had an IV with an antibiotic drip and all kinds of other cords hooked to monitors. She started to fuss and there was nothing that could be done for her. I had to put on rubber gloves and I put one hand over the top of her head and the other hand under her bottom and pretend held her. She grunted with each breath. The nurse told me that a lot of times with 35 week babies they can breathe alright on their own at first but then they get tired and can't handle it. I thought about what Barbara had said that this was why 100 years ago so many women had to bury their babies. I noticed that her oxygen level was dipping into the 80's and it was supposed to be 100%. I realized there was nothing that I could do. I would not be nursing her tonight. In fact she would not be fed at all that day or the next day. The weariness hit me. I needed to go lie down. A nurse wheeled me back down to my room. Phil was waiting.

That night Phil went up to visit Bevin too. As far as we knew she was doing fine. We checked again with the nurse that night and she was doing fine so we went to sleep. In the past that first night in the hospital is a rough one. Nursing is sporadic and painful, the nurses come in to take blood pressure, temperature etc. but not tonight. In fact, we sleep right through the night. No one comes in until after 8:00 AM.

We take our time waking up. I order breakfast and we eat casually. We ask our nurse to check on Bevin and she says everything is fine. So I get dressed and ready for the day and we walk up to the NICU. Well, first I try to get a wheelchair for me but they tell me no. I am on my own. Time to start healing.

As soon as we walk in the door of the NICU the nurse says "Are you the Waglers?" "Yes" I say. "Well I was just calling your room and we couldn't find you." I wash my hands quickly. I see the doctor outside of Bevin's room and he walks towards me. I can tell by the look on his face that something is wrong. He starts telling me something about a hole in the lung but all I really remember is a nurse handing me a release form to sign for a procedure. He needs to put in a chest tube and he asks Phil and I to leave the NICU while they do the procedure. My heart starts to pound, I sign the paper with a shaky hand and a nurse escorts us to the door.

We sit down on a bench outside the NICU. What is going on? We had thought she was doing great. As we sat there I swallowed my tears. Phil asked me if I was okay? "No" I told him. We watched other people coming and going from the NICU. I could see that there were 2 additional doctors waiting outside her room. They must be back up just in case...I start pacing around the hallway. I fight back the thoughts in my head. "We are going to lose her and I never even got to really hold her or nurse her or KNOW her!" I can see the door to her room through a window and I see a nurse run out of her room and get something and run back in. The reception nurse comes out and tells me everything is fine. She says that she told the nurse that was running NOT to run. A little while after that the doctor comes out to talk to us and tell us what is going on.

Apparently at some point in the morning they had put a cpap on her to force the oxygen more fully into her lungs. They didn't know if that had caused the hole in her lung or if it was from her own gasps of air. The hole was filling her body cavity with air and making her very uncomfortable. He said that the air was putting pressure on the heart. They knew there was a hole because they had done a chest x-ray. The chest tube would relieve the pressure and let the air out of the body. They did another chest x-ray and found that the tube was in the right place and appeared to be doing its job. Now we just wait and see if the chest tube fixes her labored breathing. The doctor tells me that she will have to be on antibiotics for at least 7 days now. That is their routine for chest tubes. They do it to prevent and fight infection. So now I know that this is serious and she is going to be here for a while.

We finally get to go see her. She looks like she was in a car accident.

She had to have a feeding tube down her throat to get a good bubble with the cpap.

The chest tube that probably saved her life.

They strapped her chin so that she would keep her mouth closed.

You can see the chest tube better in this one.

Bruised and swollen cheeks and eye lids.

Her IV. It eventually took a turn in both her arms and feet.

After we left the NICU we went back to my room to have lunch. I felt really sad. I didn't even feel like eating because I knew that my baby was not not eating. In fact she had never eaten at all yet. That was really stressing me out. A lactation consultant brought in a breastpump and I started pumping. This would become my obsession over the next 2 weeks. I felt like I was doing an important job for her recovery even though she was not getting it yet.

We had quite a few visitors that day. I felt bad that we had no baby to show them. Isn't that what everyone wants to see and hold when they make a hospital visit? My mom brought the boys over to see me. She even finished one of the super big brother capes that I had been scrambling to finish the night before Bevin was born. They loved them and were super excited! I was happy to see them so happy! Robbie and Tiffany and their kids came to visit too. It was nice to feel so supported and loved. Phil's parents came later after we had our celebration meal.

Our niece and nephews!

While I was still a patient in the hospital we would visit Bevin every 4 hours. The nurse would do an evaluation and it was at that time that we could touch her. Otherwise they wanted her to rest and heal. At the 9:00 PM evaluation that night she got pretty worked up. It was hard to watch because she was crying and kicking and there was nothing we could do. We did our best to calm her. We held her hand and sang songs over her. She could not open her eyes because they were so swollen and she had that feeding tube down her and throat that she did NOT like. We told the nurse to call us later if she got upset again.

The night nurse did call us later and Phil went up to see if he could settle her. I was exhausted and in need of some rest. He did all he could. I think he sung "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and "The First Noel" over and over. Finally the nurse called the doctor and got her some pain medicine. Chest tubes are painful and I can't even imagine just being born and going through all that she had gone through without any pain medication so we okayed it. It settled her right down. We went to bed that night with heavy hearts.

Too be continued...

Impossible Things Are Happening Every Day: The Story of Bevin's Birth

2012-01-10T13:54:00.015-05:00

December 8th I woke up in the morning, rolled over and felt my water break.

It was 6:45 AM.

I paced around my bedroom with a pounding heart. It was too early! I had just hit the 35 week mark. Why was this happening? I texted my doula and told her that I thought my water had broken. I called my doctors office and they were not open yet so I spoke to the on call doctor and he told me to come into the hospital. I thought maybe it was not my water. The baby had been pushing on my bladder and maybe my bladder had finally had enough!

My doula had planned to drive up from Bloomington for Bevins' birth and she just happened to be headed to a birth in Indianapolis as we were chatting on the phone. She planned on heading to Fort Wayne as soon as she could. I was eager for her to be at the delivery. I couldn't believe this was going to work out?!

I called my parents and my dad came to pick up Micah and take him back to their house. Thankfully Luke was already there. We let him stay there the night before after church so that I could have a small break. I was so uncomfortable. At church I found myself winded as I was trying to carry on conversations. When we got home I got to work on the super big brother capes that I was making for the boys. I wanted to give the boys the capes in the hospital when they came to visit. I stayed up late getting them finished and went to bed before finishing because I figured I could finish them in the morning before Luke came home. That was not meant to be. In fact NONE of my plans for this birth or pregnancy for that matter were going to work out the way that I had planned.

As soon as we loaded Micah up my dad took off for home and we took off for the hospital. It was already 9:00 AM by this time. I could feel the contractions but they were not any stronger than they had been the past few days. We were in no rush so we showered and got ready for the day, packed bags and I had plenty of time to grab my birth affirmations book. Little did I know it would not even leave my bag.

When we got to the hospital the girl wheeling me upstairs in the wheelchair told me I looked great for being 35 weeks pregnant. Nice! God bless her! I felt HUGE! I was checked into the triage area of the birthplace and they hooked me up to monitors. Baby was doing great! Oh good. Next they collected a sample of my "water" and sent it off to the lab. It came back positive so I was admitted to the hospital. Our nurse just happened to be a distant family friend of Phil's and as I was being checked in my cousins mother in-law stopped in to say hi! I felt a little more at ease seeing some familiar faces. I was not expecting that!

When I got to my delivery room they started my IV with antibiotics. I was supposed to have my strep test the next week so as a precaution they had to treat me for strep. When my midwife checked in with me she told me the plan. She wanted to start me on pitocin to get the labor going and deliver in the late afternoon. At that point it was already 10:30 AM. I did not see that happening considering I was only 3 cm dilated and my previous 2 labors took a long time to get going. Hmmmm...I didn't know just how strong and effective that pitocin was going to be!

My contractions were nothing...until they started the pitocin...my first experience with pitocin!

Around noon they started the pitocin very slowly. I had felt great so far and I knew that because of that I was not progressing on my own. I was stuck in the bed because of all the IV's and monitors. It was a hassle just to get out of bed and use the restroom. I had to have my nurse help me with all of my cords! This was sooooo very different than my other births! And sooooo not how I had planned.

My doula Barbara arrived around 2:30ish. I still felt fairly good. My contractions were getting stronger but I was able to relax through them. I turned on a Pandora music station on my phone and I was just resting on my side and relaxing.

When Barbabra got there she started read me all of my messages from family and friends on Facebook. I look back very fondly on this part of my labor. So many people had written me already since they knew that I was in labor. It was very comforting!

Barbara reading my Facebook messages to me!

As my contractions continued to get stronger and they were turning up the pitocin Barbara massaged and put pressure on my hip. My back labor was strong and I knew it would be that way because of the way that Bevin was positioned. My previous 2 births had intense back labor too. I was no stranger to it but the pitocin was adding a little extra kick! Until this point I had "Knee Deep" by Zac Brown Band playing on the cd player but we switched over to "What do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road. The nurse check me and I was still only 3 cm dilated. The fear started to creep into my mind.

I was so conflicted. I was not even supposed to be here. This pregnancy was supposed to end back in the summer with a stillbirth. But here I was in December just a few weeks away from the due date. Was this really going to happen? Yes. Yes it was. And from what we could see on the monitor Bevin was doing great and handling all of the contractions like a champ! Unlike me...

I was humbled and my emotions were overwhelming me. When the contractions came I would cry. I was in mourning. For the first time in this pregnancy I felt like "Why me?" I thought about how my boys at home were getting ready to take a nap and I was sad that I was not there with them. I felt like I would trade anything just to be with my boys having a normal day. I also thought about how something could still go wrong with the delivery. We knew that we were having a girl but we didn't know if she would be okay? She may have birth defects that were not compatible with life? I knew that my midwife was feeling the same way. Phil was praying over me and Barbara was reading scripture and telling me that it would not be much longer. The nurse came and checked me and I was still only 4 cm dilated. It was almost 4 o'clock and I was still only 4 cm dilated. I called for the epidural.

After the epidural I was able to relax again finally. My emotions relaxed too. Less than an hour later I had quickly progressed to 10 cm and was ready to push. My epidural was really a great one. I could still control and feel my left leg and part of my right leg. I felt the pressure of the baby's head very low but felt no pain.

Time to push.

I really only ended up pushing about 3ish times. We were all very surprised that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times! The midwife told us no photos of the baby until she said it was alright. I think she was still having anxiety!

I know it is blurry but Barbara captured our expressions seeing her for the first time!

Immediately they put Bevin on my belly and I was able to rub her back and then they whisked her over to the warming table. They didn't even take a chance and let Phil cut her cord.

I think this is a funny one of both of us!

The nurses started working on her right away. I could hear her crying but so one would really say what was going on.

Apparently the NICU team had been waiting outside the door and they were called in to work on her too. They told me that she had to go to the regular nursery and have some extra oxygen. They brought her to me to hold for a minute literally and whisked her away again.

I was happy to hold her alive! Even with all of the bruising! Hallelujah!

She was 5 lbs. 11 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long. Not bad for a preemie! Born at 4:54 PM.

Happy mama!

You can really see her facial bruising in this one. We don't know if it is from the birth, the cord being wrapped around her neck so tight and so many times or what? So mysterious? Just another mystery to add to the long list of oddities surrounding this pregnancy.

Right away I thought that she looked like Luke!

Taking some big breaths...maybe too big?

I did not yet realize that I would not be holding her again for a while or nursing right away.

With Bevin off safely in the nursery my mother in-law came in to visit. We all chatted and I was thinking about what I wanted to order to eat since I had not eaten all day.

Little did we know what was in store for us tomorrow?

To be continued...

Part 2

Part 3

Bringing Home Bevin

2011-12-17T22:46:00.009-05:00

9 Days after Miss Bevin Noelle Wagler arrived into this world she gets to go home from the NICU!

Eyes are still bruised and swollen from her quick delivery. Getting better every day!

Upgrade to a big girl bed!

Stamping her foot on the wall outside the NICU

Leaving her mark at Dupont Hospital

Daddy picked the perfect spot!

All the NICU babies that have gone home over the last 3 years.

Victory!

Ready to discharge with our nurse Melissa.

Ready to go home!

Brothers meeting sister for the first time. Super sweetness!

Here comes sister.

Proud brothers!

Big brother for the 2nd time

Micah gets to be a big brother too!

Together at last!

Grandma has been waiting for this!

I love all of their expressions!

All of the milk that I have been pumping!

Relaxed to be home. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!

Luke's Birth Story

2011-12-05T13:13:00.011-05:00

Since Luke is officially 4 I guess I better get a birth story up on the blog for him. And since another labor and delivery is looming the time is NOW!

Once upon a time I was pregnant for the first time ever! This was taken a few days after I took a positive pregnancy test. Young, thin, and naive! I was looking for a "challenge"

Who would have guessed a 70+ weight gain and because of this extreme weight gain a stress fractured foot?

Luke's due date was Dec. 7th. It was originally the 11th and they moved it at some point to the 7th but they were using a super confusing sliding chart to determine the date. It never really made sense to us but they are the professionals not us! Thanksgiving was on Nov. 24th. Since it was so close to the dues date we stayed home and family came to us for an amazing Thanksgiving meal at Malibu Grill. I remember being quite large and quite swollen that weekend. We even went shopping on Black Friday. Nothings gonna hold us back! I had a unexplainable urge to decorate our apartment for Christmas. It was kind of odd because we had not decorated at all the year before but I was determined to bring my new baby home to his first Christmas. We bought an artificial tree (something I thought I would never do) and I squeezed into the tiny storage space under the stairs and got out the ornaments and decorated away. I even wrapped all of the presents.

The Monday after I woke up kind of tired. I went into work and started making calls and emails. I had a few projects to wrap up before the baby came and I wanted to get things taken care of. I told everyone that I was still pregnant and ready to wrap things up. I walked over to the library over my lunch time and on my way back decided that I was exhausted so I decided to go home and take a quick nap. My "quick nap" ended up being almost 3 hours! I had missed calls on my cell from various people including my mom and Phil. I called my mom back at 4:30 and told her that I was still pregnant and that the baby probably was not coming today. Phil came home around 5 and I started peeling potatoes. Shortly after starting the potatoes I went in the bathroom and discovered that I was losing my mucus plug. There was a lot of it and it just kept coming. I was really confused. The doctor had told me that I had probably already lost my mucus plug and I just didn't notice. It kind of concerned me that it kept coming.

We called and spoke to the doctor around 6ish. He determined over the phone that I WAS losing my mucus plug and that was all. He told me to just plan on coming into the office on Thursday morning for my regularly scheduled appointment. Well okay then! I decided that I was not in labor and was relieved because I was just so exhausted already. Our friend Peter had stopped by to eat dinner with us and I had a FULL plate of mashed potatoes and beef roast from the crock pot. I assured Phil and Peter that I was not in labor. After eating, I laid down on the sofa and started reading a handout that the hospital had given us in our birthing class. I started to wonder if maybe my water had already broken? Again, I was confused because amniotic fluid is supposed to be clear or straw colored and what I was leaking was cloudy and greenish. Around 7 we started to time some contractions, just for fun really. By the time Peter left we were still pretty sure that I was not in labor. Hey, the doctor said to come in on Thursday and this was Monday!

The contractions intensified quickly and were getting closer together. We decided to go for a walk outside and then decide what to do when we came back. Walking around did not make the contractions go away. They were getting stronger. I remember taking a few steps and then grabbing onto the chain link fence in our apartment complex. By the time we made it back home my contractions were already 3-5 minutes apart. Phil called the doctor this time because I could barely talk. This was around 10 at night and my doctor was reluctant but decided I better come in to the hospital and get checked. We packed up quickly drove to the hospital. I was very uncomfortable the whole way. Once we got there I insisted on walking up to the maternity floor myself. I did not want to sit down.

When we walked onto the maternity floor they asked me if I had an appointment? Ummm, no! Phil did tell them that the doctor had told me to come in and that I was preregistered. The nurses quickly got me into a gown and checked to see how dilated I was: 4 cm! So I was officially in active labor and my water HAD broken. It was just tinted with meconium (babys 1st bowl movement). Not too big of a deal but I had to be hooked up to monitors immediately because they were worried about the baby. They asked me if I had planned on getting an epidural and I told them that I had not decided yet. I was hooked up to a monitor, laying in the hospital bed in intense labor and they were asking me millions of questions. I was ticked because the things that they were asking me were the same things that I had already preregistered for. I assessed the situation and realized that the nurses (who kept asking me if I wanted an epidural) did not know what to do to help me or calm me down. I was a crazy woman! I also realized that because of the meconium scare that I was going to be stuck in the bed with monitors the whole time. I asked the nurse and she said that I would probably dilate 1 cm an hour until I got to 10 cm. It REALLY freaked me out that I would be like this (crazy woman) for 6 more hours. I could not imagine it. I felt desperate. The next time the nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural I said yes.

I had no clue that it would take over an hour to get that epidural! My doctor finally came to check me around 11'ish and he broke my water the rest of the way. Apparently I was only leaking and it had not fully broken. Boy did that hurt. I about jumped out of the bed and ran. Phil missed this part because he had gone out to the car to get our stuff. The epidural finally came around midnight. Phil almost passed out when he saw the needle. The nurse helped him sit down on the floor and got him some juice. Again, I about jumped out of the bed when they gave me the numbing shot before the epidural. I was a crazy woman! I didn't know it at the time but our friends the Gaynors were at the hospital and were waiting to come see us and popped into the room next door when they heard my craziness and saw the epidural cart. They came over once the craziness had calmed down.

I was amazed how quickly I calmed down. I went from being a desperate crazy person to being my old happy self. I apologized to all the nurses and smiled big for the camera. I was happy to have visitors (it was like midnight!) and felt like chatting up a storm. Night and day difference. Phil called my parents and they were on the way to the hospital but would not be there until 4 AM. We decided to try and get some sleep. I could not sleep though, I was too excited. I was having a baby!

In labor after the epidural

The nurse came in periodically and checked me for dilation. I progressed 1 cm an hour just like they said I would. My parents peaked in around 4 AM when they arrived. They couldn't believe how peaceful I was. They wanted to let us rest so they headed out to the waiting room to sleep too. Around 5 AM the nurse told me that I was 10 cm. How easy was that and it was time to push. We thought Luke would be here really soon!!!

When I first started to push I could feel nothing. The nurses were coaching me but it was a S-L-O-W process. They turned down the epidural. Suddenly I was exhausted from pushing, in pain, and no baby in sight. They got me a mirror thinking that would help? The mirror really stressed me out. When I pushed I could see Luke's head but when I stopped pushing the head would go right back in! I would scream in discouragement. This whole silliness went on for 2 1/2 hours!!! My mouth was so dry but they would only let me have one small ice chip at a time. I could not catch my breath because of the position I was in and the frequency of the contractions. When the doctor finally came a little after 7 AM. Right away he took the tweezers and pinched me right where the baby was coming out and I screamed and jumped in extreme pain! He couldn't believe that the epidrual was not working. Yep, I had been telling them that for a while. So he gave me a local pain shot. Then without telling me what was going on gave me a massive episiotomy and pulled Luke out.

The nurses whisked Luke away and started to suck out his lungs. There was nothing I could do! I was helpless and stuck laying in the bed getting stitched up. I kept asking if Luke was alright? Phil was standing right with Luke in the heating lamp while they were working on him. He reassured me that everything was fine. They just really had to make sure that his lungs were clear because of the meconium. If he would have aspirated any it could have caused some serious problems and blocked his airway. Thankfully, he was fine and was able to breast feed shortly after his birth.

A good caption for this photo could be "What did we do?"

One moment we were 2 and the next minute we were suddenly 3! Yikes! We are parents and we don't know what we are doing.

My parents got to meet Luke pretty quick after he was born! My dad said "He is a pretty boy" and "I've seen that baby before" (meaning he looked a lot like me and he still does!)

I feel like I was really out of it after I nursed him. His first time nursing took an hour and the pediatrician came to check him out after he nursed. He checked out fine and the nurses gave him his first bath and then they switched us over to the recovery rooms. I was exhausted but happy. I don't think that I slept all night and I still was too excited to sleep. We had plenty to friends that stopped in for visits over the next few days. We took Luke home from the hospital on the 29th. It just happened to be our anniversary! What a good memory! My brother and Aunt Lisa came down from Indy to meet Luke and Drew grilled steaks on the grill for dinner.

I was so glad that I had all of the Christmas decorations already up. I guess I was nesting after all?! It was soooo fun having a new baby right around Christmas time. I love that we have photos with the tree in the background!

I also remember the first song that I sang for him was "Silent Night" Very appropriate! He did give us some rough nights in the beginning.

I also remember that he came just in time for Phil's finals...he did not do so great that year. It's hard to do your best work with a new baby at home! We kind of thought that Luke would come late (everyone said that he was a first baby and would be late) and that would have been after finals were over. He was 10 days early. Some things you just can't plan for!

Phil studying

We were still fairly young and naive parents! We did things like take a 1 month old baby to an IU basketball game:

And we took him to a semester abroad in Paris where he took his first bites of solid food...

...and rode in a cab twice with no car seat...

Sheesh. All of this birth talk has me a little worked up. Luke's birth was similar yet different from Micah's. With Luke I was SO not ready for birth but my first experience helped me with the 2nd one and I hope that helps me with this 3rd one!

Chow for now!

35 Weeks

2011-12-05T11:17:00.008-05:00

Baby girl still growing strong! I've been feeling lots of big kicks and stretches from the inside and outside. Baby is heads down and very low. I feel most all of the big kicks on my right side. I think that she also tries to extend her legs out that way as well. Ouch! My midwife said that she still has plenty of room to move around. So I guess that is good for her! I just feel big and I cannot help but waddle. The end is in sight. My most recent appointment was Thursday and the midwife said that I was 3 weeks away from her not stopping labor. That kind of puts things into perspective! We are all a little anxious.

I met with my Doula (same one from Micah's birth) and she is planning on driving up from Bloomington for the delivery. We suddenly seem to have plenty of pink outfits and sleepers! I have a labor song picked out and my birth affirmation book ready to go. We have a 3 minute drive to the hospital. I guess you could say we are ready! My midwife thinks that I am overly obsessed with the labor and delivery. She also said that she sensed some anxiety from me. I assured her that my anxiety is only related to the anxiety that she alerted me to in our first meeting. And as far as being over prepared for labor?? The best way for me to relax is to be over prepared! At first, I was kind of upset but then I realized (just like most medical professionals) that she does not know me. She does not know that when someone tells me NOT to do something or thinks that I can't do something I see it as a challenge. That's just fuel to my fire! My new game plan is to do what I want and keep my mouth shut. I don't need any negativity at this stage. Believe me, I have had my fair share. I am excited to see how this all plays out!!!!!!!

I finally sat down and made the baby blanket. I have made blankets for both boys and had fun feminizing this one! I can't wait to wrap her up in it. Luke wrapped himself up in it last night and he seems excited to be getting a girl (his words)!

I got a little carried away and made some newborn headbands. It dawned on me that we have zero hair pieces! No worries about that now. And since I had some extra fabric I made some blanket minis. You know the kind that can be used as burp cloths, lovies, hankies, or doll blankets.

LOVE it all, WORTH it all!

Brother Love

2011-11-09T10:40:00.004-05:00

What will we do with a sister?

Halloween 2011

2011-11-09T10:30:00.003-05:00

Batman and Elmo trick or treating!

We love our neighborhood!

So now I have worn that pumpkin shirt twice!

30 Weeks

2011-11-09T09:48:00.003-05:00

Date Night!

Grow grow growing! I passed my sugar test! Huge answer to prayer there, mostly because it means a continued uneventful pregnancy. I am trying to stay as active as possible. My friends and I had another marathon freezer cooking day. It was A LOT of work and my ankles were swollen for 2 days after but so so worth it! We tried some new recipes too.

My violin lesson is coming along. I have my very own rented violin that I can play a few notes of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" I find it humorous when I am practicing on a smallish violin with my big belly! The boys think it is the best!!! (the violin not the belly)

My past 2 appointments have been with the high risk Dr. and I had ultrasounds both times. This was only because the midwife was unavailable. I don't mind it though. As long as everything is fine then I am fine! My most recent ultrasound was at my sugar test and I could see her "breathing". I have never had an ultrasound this far along so that was a new and amazing thing to see. We also know that she is heads down. Her heart looked great and she is over 3 lbs! I have noticed some bumping around right around my belly button and I think it is her rear end! Maybe I will find out for sure at my appointment tomorrow? I feel lots of movement and even though it can be uncomfortable at times I feel a huge amount of comfort.

Happy to be here!

Pumpkining 2011

2011-11-09T09:23:00.007-05:00

Luke drew his own scary face! It's Darth Vader you know?

"Geeze"

Micah's first time participation.

"Ewww!"

Boys doing the gross scooping.

Micah drew a face too!

Light'em up!

27 Weeks

2011-10-17T10:16:00.002-04:00

Non-eventful pregnancy appointments happening around here. So thankful for that. My most recent appointment I assured Phil that he didn't need to come. It was just a quick measure, urine and blood pressure check appointment with the midwife. One thing that I have REALLY grown to love about my Dr's office is I have hardly ever had to wait! Most of my appointments have been first thing in the morning so maybe that helps. No chance yet to get behind. So at my most recent appointment my midwife was hung up in postpartum at the hospital. Another great thing about my Dr's office is that it is attached to the hospital. So the Dr's and nurses can can easily walk back and forth between the two. Since Dr. Wheeler (high risk Dr.) was already in the office he did my appointment which was entirely an ultrasound. It is his regular practice to do an ultrasound at every appointment. So I got a peek at Baby Girl!

Everything was fine and she is still a girl! I guess no worries about a surprise on that one?! Heart beat was perfect and she is growing great and measuring about a week ahead. Lots of growth in all the right places. Pretty good news considering the 1% chance that Dr. Wheeler had given us in the beginning that this pregnancy would make it beyond August! The original diagnosis seems so long ago. Was it actually a dream?

I am still having dreams. I know that vivid dreams are common during pregnancy. My most common dream is that I am bleeding which has never actually happened to me during a pregnancy. I guess that fear is hanging on strong from the original miscarriage prediction. I must have prepared myself a little to much for that one? The other dream is getting bad or bizarre news from the midwife. I will never forgot her attitude/face/etc. that first day that I met her. I am doing my best to not hold that against her (not her fault) but you have no control over your dreams right?

I have also been thinking much more about how we were offered the option to terminate at 9 and 10 weeks. It was never a real option in our minds but it does add to my emotions over this entire pregnancy. I have read accounts of woman that terminated their pregnancy over a cystic hygroma and justified by saying it was the "humane" thing to do. As far as the research that I did on my own I found that a cystic hygroma is not painful. Babies can be born with it (a fluid filled sack under the skin) and it can later be removed. An inconvenience yes but not life threatening.

My emotions ran high the other night as I was watching "The Little Couple." The Dr's were able to harvest two eggs from the lead character and were able to grow 2 embryos from the eggs. One of the embryos grew normally and one had an extra chromosome. They were visibly sad. I started to wonder what would happen to that embryo? That person? It made me think of our Turners diagnosis (missing an x chromosome) and remembered how relieved I was that our baby had a chance at survival. I realized for the first time that there are people out there that never even get the chance to be a person. I know this is happening all of the time but suddenly it all became very personal.

Sorry, not trying to get weird on you. Just recording my thoughts in case someone out there is going through something similar. Not all of my thoughts and feelings are normal, happy, or positive. It's a journey for sure. Just trying to be honest.

Micah can say cheese for the camera now! (Geeze!)

Pulled Pork - Freezer Cooking Recipe

2011-10-17T10:03:00.003-04:00

Ingredients:

large pork butt or shoulder
2 liters of 7 Up
barbecue sauce of choice
buns

Place pork in crock pot or roaster on high for 4-6 hours. Pour 2 liter of 7 Up over the pork until the meat is covered. Periodically check on pork by poking it with a fork. Once it is done (like falling apart done) remove pork from the roaster and place on a platter. Proceed to pull/shred the pork with a fork in each hand. Scoop pork into ziplock freezer bags. We did 3 cups per bag. Freeze pork.

Preparation Instructions:

Thaw pork. Best way is to pull it out of the freezer the night before and put it in the refrigerator. Add your barbeque sauce of choice to the pork (once it is thawed) and thoroughly mix. Microwave on high 2-4 minutes until heated through. Serve on buns!

Read more about our freezer cooking day here.

Hair Cuts - Micah's First!

2011-10-17T09:56:00.003-04:00

2 Little boys with freshly cut hair + 1 pregnant Mama

"Geeze" (cheese)

Chicken Enchilades

2011-10-04T18:14:00.003-04:00

Freezer Cooking Recipe

This recipe will make 12 meals - If you have 4 people cooking that makes 3 meals per family

Adjust the quantities accordingly if you have less people cooking.

Chicken Enchiladas

-2 Cans Members Mark 50oz Chicken Breast – (Sams)

-12 onions small

-12 garlic cloves

-1 gallon Salsa – Ortega Medium (Sams)

-5 ½ packages of Cream Cheese (Meijer or Sams)

-Ground Cumin

-12 cups of Cheese (1 Colby Jack Shredded, Bakers & Chef Brand, Sams)

-120 flour tortillas

Saute onions and garlic in two large skillets. Add the cumin, cream cheese, half of the gallon of salsa, and canned chicken. Mix everything together over medium heat until combined. Scoop a spoonful of chicken mixture into the middle of a tortilla shell. Sprinkle shredded cheddar cheese over the mixture and roll up the tortilla. Place 8-10 rolled up tortillas in a 9 x 13 (disposable) baking dish. Cover baking dish with 2 sheets of aluminum foil and attach baking and thawing instructions to the foiled lid. Place in the freezer or refrigerator until ready to take home!

Divide up the remaining salsa in Ziploc bags and do the same with the cheese. You can freeze both of these. You will use them on baking day.

Baking Instructions:

Thaw in refrigerator overnight. Cover enchiladas with salsa and shredded cheddar cheese and bake in a preheated oven for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

Garden "Furprise"

2011-10-03T09:57:00.002-04:00

In pitch dark and in the cold we frantically harvested whatever was left of my garden in fear of frost. I made my plea for help to Phil and I felt like the Little Red Hen. "Well, then I will harvest it myself said the Little Red Hen and she did." And then I will eat it all myself too! Probably not but I think that I have eaten all of the carrots myself so far.

Which by the way, the carrots were a HUGE surprise. The few that I had pulled up more recently were tiny. They might have kept growing too but I played it safe and just harvested everything!

Apparently my garden has been LOVING all of this rain and colder weather! Plus I have been a little burnt out on the garden and hadn't checked on things for a while. I knew that watermelon had been baking so I finally picked it.

The broccoli was a surprise too. I thought it had been done producing a month ago...

I went ahead and picked all the little tomatoes too. I was afraid that they would be the most vulnerable to the frost?

So now for the great tomato experiment. Anyone know the best way to proceed from here? Should I sit them out in the sun each day or just let them do their own thang?

Phil did eventually join me when I was halfway done. He saved the day with a giant paper bag for the big tomatoes! I am thankful he did because I swear that you can hear scary noises from the Boy Scouts Haunted Castle. I was getting freaked out in the dark with only a flashlight and Sanibel!

"Knee Deep" - Phil's Birthday

2011-09-30T08:33:00.003-04:00

"Gonna put the world away for a minute
Pretend I don't live in it
Sunshine gonna wash my blues away..."

Today is Phil's birthday!

I got up early and made breakfast; one of Phil's most favorite things! Every time I do it he says: "We should do this every day!"

I don't know who was happier about the bacon and eggs this morning? Him or pregnant mama?

Phil said it was most definitely pregnant mama.

Or maybe Baby Micah? Not so baby anymore...

"Wishing I was knee deep in the water somewhere
Got the blue sky breeze and it don't seem fair
Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair..."

Luke and I went to Best Buy at 8:00 PM last night to get daddy the Zac Brown Band cd with the song "Knee Deep". It was an adventure for him and he got to stay up and wrap it!

I have been trying to get Phil to relax ever since we first met. He doesn't even like to take naps...until now! It never dawned on me that "relaxing" means so much more when you actually have something you want to take a break from.

Phil didn't get home from work until 7:30 last night.

I'm not complaining. I'm just saying he treasures every minute of the weekend!

I hope that someday this will will be us:

"Wrote a note said be back in a minute
Bought a boat and I sailed off in it
Don't think anybody gonna miss me anyway..."

Cheers to you Phil and your special day!

Adi & Ellie Designs

2011-09-28T14:47:00.004-04:00

My friend Lauren has a fabulous handmade hats and accessories business!

She has a variety of colors and styles over on Etsy. Her link is http://www.etsy.com/shop/adiandelliedesigns

If you hurry and order she is offering Free Shipping for the rest of September. Enter "septemberfree" at checkout.

You can also reach her by email: adiandelliedesigns@gmail.com

I am head over heels in LOVE with my hat stash! I can't wait to try them on baby girl!

The Ellie brimmed flower beanie in melon sorbet and pale yellow with pearl accent

Vintage baby flower beanie in cream and white

I sent one of these down to Texas! (Hats not babies)

And even hats for boys!

LOVE this sweet one!

So many great gift ideas! How do you choose?
Thanks you Lauren for your generosity and handiwork! Love you and your stylish self!

25 Weeks

2011-09-28T10:32:00.008-04:00

25 Weeks and still pregnant!
Happy to be here growing "a nice sized baby" as my midwife said at my last appointment.
Measuring a week ahead of schedule.
Trying to resist the temptation to overdo it...

...and accumulating "girly" things!

No need to worry about hair when you have the perfect hat!

A boy closet going pink.

Dresses!

Pink!

Shoes!

Pants with a pink heart on the bottom? Why YES!!!!!!

Resisting the urge to feed my family beans and rice every night so that I can shop endlessly at hannahAndersson.com Yea. Their family holiday coordinating outfits are out and on SALE!

Phil has been warned.

And this coordinating outfit WILL be happening:

A Splashy Day

2011-09-28T10:09:00.006-04:00

What good is an umbrella if you can't use it?

Lately, we have had much rain.

Things have "greened" up quite nicely. We were starting to wonder if our yard would make it through?

We feel bad for our Texas friends and the drought that makes shower water smell like earth.

Luke and I sent a package to Texas last week for our friends who had a new baby. Luke said "I want to send them a hose to put out the fire" He has been very concerned about the wild fires in Texas.

A splashy puddle was located

And fallen into.

Watch out!

Getting splashed by brother.

Spider moves.

Ditching the umbrella!

Praying today for some sweet rain to cover Texas!

Quick and Easy Pizza Recipe

2011-09-21T08:55:00.003-04:00

Ingredients:

2 Flour Tortilla Shells
leftover spaghetti sauce
shredded cheese
various pizza toppings

Directions: Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Lay tortillas on baking sheet. Spread spaghetti sauce over flour tortillas. Sprinkle with shredded cheese. If your kids or you like toppings get creative and cover with toppings. Self explanatory right? Bake for 5 minutes or until the cheese bubbles along the edge.

This is my go to recipe when Luke requests pizza for lunch. I like it because I usually have all of the ingredients on hand. When I use a jar of spaghetti sauce I usually do not use the whole thing and there is a little left in the jar in the fridge. Also, I just use whatever cheese I have on hand. Sometimes it is shredded and sometimes not. Sometimes I only have mozzarella string cheese so I just string that up and lay the strings over the sauce. My kids like it because the little pizzas look like the real thing! They love them!

10 and 20 Weeks

2011-09-19T13:54:00.001-04:00

Yay! Our friends Karen and Tim are pregnant too!!!!!!!!!

Micah 19 Months

2011-09-19T13:50:00.002-04:00

Chondra Appreciates My Tomatoes

2011-09-19T13:44:00.004-04:00

Luke took pride in giving Grandma and Grandpa Wagler a tour of his garden!

Last Bean Picking

2011-09-19T13:34:00.005-04:00

I thought that my bean plants were done producing a month ago. But then I found all these! Enough for a meal!

Luke's garden is in full bloom!

Remember how he started?

His sunflowers are so tall!

Zinnias

Marigolds

It took awhile...

but his sunflowers finally bloomed!

Freezer Cooking

2011-09-16T08:51:00.010-04:00

Last Saturday, while most of the locals were enjoying the Grabill Fair, I and 3 other industrious/adventurous moms were inside the church cooking up a storm...

For 9 hours!

9 hours of work=96 meals x 4 hungry families = 24 meals per family

How did we get there you ask?

I will preface this story by saying that we think that NEXT TIME it will not take as long!

The original plan had us starting at 9:30 AM. Well, that was before we realized that the parade path for the fair was set commence directly outside the front entrance of the church! As I was pulling into the parking lot the road I had just driven on was being shut down. This prevented Sarah from getting to the church. She had to park as close as possible, load up her stroller with meat and supplies, and then walk to the church!

Carrie and I scooping pasta into baking dishes.

So while we were waiting for Sarah, we started the pulled pork in the roasters. A big part of the reason that we used the church kitchen was so that we could use the big roasters, pots/pans etc. Once we got the pork started we immediatley blew a fuse in the outlet that all 3 roasters were plugged into and we didn't know it! Ahhhhhhh....not until 2 hours later. Whoops! Luckily the janitor popped in every once in a while and helped us out a ton. He showed Becky how to flip the fix the fuse, brought us a big trash bin, and even took the massive amounts of trash out to the dumpster! What a great guy!

Becky, our happy meat mixer/chicken wrangler!

We each took on different jobs as the day progressed. All of us took turns washing dishes and putting utensils away. About halfway through the day we decided that 4 was the perfect number for this task. The logistics for purchasing and transporting all of the supplies/ingredients for a task this size is quite large. We were busy the entire time. We all always had something to do and we liked it that way! Then, once the meals are assembled, you have to store them until the end of the day. The industrial sized refiderator and freezer at the church working perfectly! I really don't know how we could have done this at one of our houses? Maybe if you just had 2 people working?

Our list of meals:

chicken enchiladas
broccoli cheddar soup
meatloaf
cheesy chicken and biscuits
white chicken chili
calzones
baked pasta with meat sauce
pulled pork

The chicken enchiladas

White Chicken Chili

Cheesy Chicken and Biscuits served with a green salad

A picture of how our dishes were assembled.

The bread dough that we used to make the calzones! It had risen. It had risen indeed!

Sarah taking a turn washing dishes. Everyone looks so happy!

Becky cleaning the floor! Isn't she beautiful?

All 96 meals divided up per family and ready to load! That's a lot of work but oh so worth it!

If you think that is crazy, brace yourself, we already have plans to do this again in October!

As the day progressed we decided that we would be MORE motivated to use the meals at home if we already had the next cooking day set up and on the calender. That way we would eat and enjoy our precious meals knowing that more were to come. Plus we just learned so much from our experiences that day and we took notations along the way. That way our shopping list can be more precise. We did overbuy on a few items and doing a cooking like this one soon will help us to use up those extra ingredients that we already have purchased and bring down the cost of each meal.

After dividing up all of the ingredients we each contributed $153.00.
Not bad for 24 meals. That's almost a months worth of meals! We also hope to further refine our process after collecting feedback from each family on what meals we like and want to try again!

Overall a fun and productive day! Now don't you want to try it? I admit is has been WONDERFUL all this week to know I have quite the selection of meals to choose from. How easy is it to put a meal in the fridge in the morning and then preheating the oven before dinner?

Totally easy!

The Helm

2011-08-30T10:19:00.002-04:00

Bethel has a new entrance! Honestly, this is our very first photo at the Helm. I really wanted this to be a family shot but the boys were sleeping in the car. Maybe next time? On the drive over Luke said "what is a Bethel?"

20 Weeks and Still Pregnant!

2011-08-30T09:44:00.004-04:00

My watermelon sized belly (well, not really!)

This belly is definitely lower than the other two! I am not sure it it means anything other than my maternity stash of clothes is fitting more snugly this time around.

Half-way there! I really didn't think that 11 weeks ago I would be here!

Lots of baby movement and wiggling! This is my 3rd pregnant birthday! Getting ready to turn 31 on Thursday!

Target Toy Storage

2011-08-23T10:14:00.003-04:00

Why baskets? To conceal our growing toy collection. The shelf is low enough for toddler access and my kids can easily pull the baskets in and out of the shelves. I like it because it keeps the toys off the floor and looks more adultish! Plus it goes with our Ikea bookshelves that we've owned since our Mishawaka house many moves ago. Shelf and baskets recently purchased at Target. I had to go to 2 Targets to collect 6 matching baskets! So hurry and go get you some.

Our living room in the morning BEFORE the toys are unleashed!

Just a reference picture for my Texas and California friends who may never visit in person! When I first brought the shelf home I tried it in the entry (it fit perfectly) for concealed shoe storage but I figured it would get more use for toys in the living room. The search for the perfect entry piece continues! I am thinking a narrow table with legs but when the right piece comes along I will know!

Now looking at this photo, I think I may need to lower my little chair collection a few inches?

19 Weeks - Elephants

2011-08-21T22:10:00.005-04:00

It hit me this weekend that expecting a baby girl = overwhelmed shopper

We walked into the Carter's Outlet and Phil said "wow, this is very bright." The girl section of the store was like a bright rainbow of cupcake sleepers and hot pink hairbows. My brother was with us and to say that he looked out of place is an understatement. I collected an assortment of girl outfits and headed to the checkout. Phil and Drew had wandered over to the more familiar boy section where they felt more comfortable.

While in line I noticed a rack with ruffled tights. I thought about how I had always wanted to buy ruffled tights so I got out of line. There was a huge selection of tights, stockings, socks, hairbows, and bags. Suddenly that gagging feeling that plagues me so early on in pregnancy was back. I instantly knew that I was WAY out of my league. The pressure to put together a complete ensemble made me sweat in my eyebrows.

So I turned around and headed back to the sale rack and put most of the outfits that I had selected earlier back! Then I pulled myself together and headed over to find the boys. I told myself "Brooke will help me figure this all out!" My friend Brooke is queen of coordinates for girls.

The boys were more than ready to move on to the next store and so was I! Yikes. I did not expect this! I thought I could easily pick out a few onesies but it is clear that I am not ready for full outfits! I need to enroll in a baby girl mentorship program.

We did manage to pick out a few things for Baby Girl!

Phil picked this onesie out!

We also choose this super soft and sweet elephant lovie from the Carter's Outlet. Proof that I did buy a few items!

I love that the animal print on the lovie is actually hearts!

Hmmm...the start of nursery inspiration? We will see...

Flat Front Pants

2011-08-21T21:05:00.005-04:00

More pants were sewn this week.

I had a pair of pants (from college) that I had been holding onto but they had a hole in the rear by a back pocket. Don't you hate when that happens to good pants?

So I repurposed them into a pait of smaller pants for my oldest son.

Again, I followed an online tutorial. I made these flat fronted pants for more style!

They turned out super cute!

New churchy pants. CHECK!

Time to do some roof work!

18 Weeks and a Baby Girl

2011-08-12T10:49:00.005-04:00

My mother in law picked up that onesie for our new little GIRL at the Creation Museum! She said that we are just going to love this baby no matter what! In one of my early conversations with Barbara my beloved duola she reminded me of the same. No matter what happens this baby was created in God's image! You know how things happen at just the right timing? It is no accident. I believe that there is a reason and purpose behind EVERYTHING!

When "rumors of this baby's demise" first started I managed to avoid the "why" and the "why me" questions. But it is funny how the questions started to come when we were getting the good news. After the initial shock of the turn around/healing I started thinking "why us and not somebody else?"
In May when I first discovered I was pregnant, a woman that writes a blog I follow discovered that she was pregnant too. Like our due dates were a day apart. At 7 weeks she felt like something was up with her pregnancy. She went from being super sick to feeling great so she went to her midwife and got an ultrasound. Everything ended up being fine, in fact, she learned that she was carrying twins! I don't actually know her but I was super happy for her and I started to think of her often. Last week she updated her blog after a long break and shared her story. While on vacation she ended up miscarrying one of her twins and then a week later gave birth to the other twin. But she was way too early and small to survive and lived for about 40 minutes. My heart broke and is still breaking for her. Plus, I was overwhelmed by reading a story that was so similarly predicted for me. Her July ended the way that mine was supposed to end. And for the first time started wondering "why her and why not me?" Here I am in August still pregnant.

I don't think that there is anything special about us or our situation. I wish that I could tell other people going through something similar that everything is going to be okay. The thing is I did not think that things would be okay for us either. I remember telling Phil early on that I just had a feeling that this was going to be a long and drawn out process. I also remember feeling like always before I could tell myself that "everything was going to be alright" and in this case I just could not say or feel like it was. That was a scary place for me to be.

How do you accept the unknown in a logical way? And how do you help others? For me it was taking the focus off of myself explaining the facts to the ones around me who were going through this grief with us. And telling them that I have no answers. Like I said earlier, I believe that things happen for a reason and have a higher purpose. A purpose that may not present itself until later. Maybe even years later.

Why did this happen? I don't know.

How did we get to a regular 18 week baby check? It had been 4 weeks since I had an ultrasound and we were comforted by NOT knowing what was going on with the baby. We had been on information overload for far too long and the month break was nice! I convinced Phil to come with me to my appointment. It is a good thing that he came because my appointment turned out to be all ultrasound! The tech that did our original ultrasound did this one too. I asked her if she remembered us from the beginning of the summer and she did! I could tell that she was excited to see what was going on with the baby. I was nervous and surprised that we were even doing an ultrasound! Yikes. So here we go:

She can tell right away that this miracle baby is officially a girl! And she is moving all over the place! She was really active just like all of the ultrasounds have been. Her heart rate was around the 150 range and NORMAL! Yay! Some "normal" news right off the bat!

Here she is putting her thumb up to her mouth!

So then we start in with the serious measurements. She is estimated to be 9 ounces and measuring developmentally 5 days early! This was normal news to me too because both boys were measuring 5 days early at their gender ultrasounds. The umbilical cord has 3 vessels and the heart has all 4 chambers!!!! Yes! That was the biggest concern at our last ultrasound. Relief comes over me. Next the brain measures fine and the stomach and kidneys are there! They exist! More relief. I make her check the lip and make sure that it is all there. Yes! I ask her if there is still concern for chromosomal abnormalities? She says that ultrasounds are 99.9% correct in prediction. Normally this would give me more great relief but we have a history of red flag ultrasounds that apparently turned out to be nothing.

The tech then tells me that she had a similar ultrasound with her third baby. She says that there was some concern about her baby at first but the problems cleared up in a later ultrasound and she now has a perfectly healthy and beautiful 4 year old daughter. She says that this is the reason that she did not say anything to me during that first ultrasound. I feel like this clears up some fuzziness in my brain from that first visit. She then says "why, did they scare you?" Um, YES. We tell her about our second ultrasound and she has no explanations for that one. I kept saying: "I am just so happy to be here." I keep thinking about my blogging "friend" who is not.

The high risk doctor knocks on the door and comes in. Apparently he has been watching the whole ultrasound from the other room. Like a guardian angel? He comes in and wants to see the "miracle baby" for himself. We look at the heart again and he makes sure that the amniotic sac has attached. It was sagging a little bit at the last ultrasound but today it is perfectly placed. Again he says his famous/favorite words "rumors of this baby's demise were premature!" He is happy and let's me know that he is always there for me if the need arises but "the less you see of me the better." Those are sweet words to my ears as well. He has certainly proved himself in that area. He has always been right there in the office, in the ultrasound room, at my appointments. I wonder if maybe he is having a hard time letting go? Maybe I am too! I decide that I want to make him proud. I want this happy ending for him too!

Our baby girl is so tiny and at 18 weeks. I think she has a little "Who" face. You know the Who's from the Grinch and "Horton Hears a Who." I read "The Grinch that Stole Christmas" to Luke the other night and discover that he has a small 3 year old crush on Cindy Lou Who. What 3 year old boy wouldn't? We tell him that he is getting a sister and he says "let's name her Brother?" Don't you love 3 1/2 year olds?

SO happy to be here and writing this post. Not so happy about the 10 pound weight gain that accumulated over the past month. But is it probably a good thing? No more worry/stress/grief pregnancy diet that resulted in lost pounds. I do feel big for 18 weeks though. This baby wants to be SEEN! I have some catching up to do on getting the word out. Spread the word!

Kid Pants and Fiberglass Lady

2011-08-12T09:02:00.010-04:00

Finally our bath tub is fixed! The "Fiberglass Lady" came to our house last Friday to work her magic. Luke was pretty excited about it and put on his Spiderman costume to welcome her. I had been making plans to make the boys some pajama pants. I know these two things seem to have nothing to do with each other! Anyhoo:

Let me slow down and tell you that 2 weeks ago a hole was punched through the corner of the boys bathtub. How did that happen? Phil went in to start the bath and saw a thin black line in the corner of the tub. So (I don't know why boys do this) but he pushed on the small line and poked his thumb all the way through the fiberglass! He calls for me and I come and check the damage and yes there was a half dollar size hole in our 11 year old fiberglass tub!

We talk about patching and then go to Lowe's to look at new tubs. It turns out a new tub does not seem that expensive but when you add up the installation fees and consider that a wall would have to be removed to get a new tub in our tiny bathroom it gets into the ballpark of $3,000-$4,000! What???

The salesman at Lowe's suggests calling a local fiberglass company and getting the hole professionally patched for a few hundred dollars. Now that's more like it. Phil calls around and finally finds Beverly's Fiberglass. She says she can fix the hole for $95.00! Nice! So we set up a time for her to come out.

She shows up Friday morning. Pats Luke on the head and tells him that she loves his costume and brings in her back of tricks. It looks like a giant bowling bag from the 60's. I wonder how in the world that bag is going to fix the tub? Things start coming out of the bag like a funny hairdryer looking thing and an intense smell that gets stronger by the minute. I take the boys outside for some fresh air. The smell is starting to get to me. The next thing I know, I hear water running in the tub! Something we have not done for 2 weeks. Then she packs up her bag and brings me her invoice for $95.00 and tells me the spot she fixed is good to go. We can run the water and start taking baths/showers immediately and the patch is guaranteed for like EVER! I profess love to her and say we will definitely be calling her again if we have more holes. She says "not for that spot you won't." Well alrighty. She is a wonder. A woman who fixes fiberglass and is hugely confident in her trade. I like her. A lot. She has saved us thousands of dollars.

You could never tell by looking that there was a hole in this tub!

After the fiberglass lady leaves I am still feeling ill from the intense smell. So I open a bunch of windows, turn on some fans and load the boys in the Rendezvous. I figure we take a trip to JoAnn Fabrics and get some elastic and blue thread for the pajama pants project. I tell Luke that if he is good at the store he can have a hot dog from Rally's afterward. We never do stuff like that but there is a Rally's right there and the hot dogs are a $1.00. And it works! Both boys are great! I might be trying this more often!

I used this pattern and tutorial that I found online at this website: www.dana-made-it.com

My parents gave me this nightgown last Christmas. I asked for it specifically from LL Bean. I had been eying it for years but I always seem to be pregnantish around the holidays and I finally was a reasonable size last year. But I still ordered the wrong size and it fit funny at the neck. I loved it but never wore it. It was hardly worn and I wanted to re-purpose it into pajamas for the boys. I laid out the nightgown on the table and realized that I was only going to get one pair of pants out of this one nightgown. So I decided to make them for Luke because I already told him I was and showed him the fabric. He was excited and already in bed. Plus, if they hold up well they can be handed down to growing family members!

I traced the pattern with chalk and cut it out. I estimated because the online pattern is for 2-3t so I traced the pattern a little larger.

Pants are such an easy and rewarding project if you are new to sewing! I followed the tutorial instructions and found that the order of steps made more sense than the pattern that I used to make. Yes, I used to make pajama pants in high school. I even rekindled my skills and made Phil a fleece pair for Christmas when we first met and stitched a Merry Christmas message in the waist! I am pretty sure that MUST have won his heart because later that night he asked if I was his girlfriend? It took me really off guard and I felt flustered. I had not been a girlfriend for a while. I told him that I had to think about it! What? Who does that? Yep. Me. I think that all worked out nicely in the end though?

My skills were a little rusty and this first pair took a little longer than I anticipated. It is hard to be a perfectionist! So no embroidery here but I did re-purpose the tag especially for Luke. He needs a point of reference for dressing himself. "Tag goes in the back." I live by that rule too.

I followed the tutorial suggestion and hemmed the pants with a double line of stitching. I REALLY love the way they look more professional that way.

Since Luke was sleeping I had to wait the whole night to try them on the boy.

Show us your muscles.

Strike a pose.

Be more serious.

Ever since we had some family photos taken last week Luke has been really into pose striking.

I wanted Micah to have a matching pair but there is not enough fabric. Luke picked this flannel out for Micah. I picked it up at JoAnns a few years back on Black Friday for a $1.00 a yard. I waited in line at the cutting counter FOREVER but scored some fun flannels that I still use!

I made both pairs a little big keeping in mind that they will probably grow between now and winter. I love making stuff for my boys!

Yea dude, you're cool.

Look at how long!

You know these boys are growing though! Before I know it these pants will be too short!

I think that there are enough scraps of the blue flannel to make a small newborn pair of pants for the new baby and maybe some trim for Micah to have a coordinating pair? We will see!

Micah 18-Month Well Visit

2011-08-01T17:10:00.003-04:00

Weight: 28 lbs. (55%)

Height: 33" (75%)

Head: 18 1/4" (18%)

Hair: curly

Disposition: ornery

Emotional State: Happy!

"A Person's a Person..."

2011-07-25T09:21:00.012-04:00

"...no matter how small." - Horton (from "Horton Hears a Who" by Dr. Seuss)

I'm pregnant!

In fact, I will be 16 weeks pregnant on Wednesday. But who's counting? Oh yes, all the doctors and nurses.

I know that there are probably more unusual/exciting ways to tell you but I am not big on announcements and so far this pregnancy has brought enough of its own excitement. I think that you will see why as you read on.

I went in for a routine 1st OB checkup at 9 weeks. For some reason the nurse/midwife that I went to does an ultrasound at 11 weeks. I assume this ultrasound is for due date estimation purposes? I actually don't really know. I was supposed to have this ultrasound at 11 weeks but we were going to be out of town and I was a week off in my estimation. So at 9 weeks I had an ultrasound. Luckily, Phil met me at the office for this first appointment.

Everything seemed to go fine in the ultrasound room. The tech chatted with us and took pictures of the baby. We kept saying "does everything look alright?" She kept saying "everything is measuring properly." At one point she asked if we were there to see the high risk doctor? I told her that we were going to see the midwife who is actually the opposite of high risk. She said a few more normal things and chatted about a triplet ultrasound that she had done that week and handed us a strip of baby pictures and sent us out of the room.

We sat together in the examining room and waited for the midwife to show up (we had never met her) and I handed Phil the strip of photos for him to hold. Shortly, the nurse/midwife walked in and introduced herself and another nurse that was observing for the day. To be honest, my memory is a little blurry after this point.

Right off the bat, she told us that she had bad news about the baby. She showed me an ultrasound photo, that was not in our strip, that showed a long white strand laying next to the baby. She then proceeded to use words that went way over my head but I caught a few things. This strand could either be a leak (possibly a lymphatic system leak) or a string of brain developing on the outside of the body. Then she showed me some find of extra growth on the back of the neck and said that it was a sign of chromosomal abnormalities. I later realized that the growth was a neural tube translucency. In the haze of words and medical terms I remember hearing her say that they would like me to come back in a week for another ultrasound and she didn't expect the baby to have a heartbeat. Then she gave me the rundown of what to anticipate with a miscarriage and said there was nothing else that they could do and I should just go home and live my normal life and sent me over to the office next door to meet with the high risk doctor.

Phil and I barely had time to look at each other or say a word. We walked like zombies into the high risk doctors office and sat down. I think that we quickly realized just how blessed we were to have two previous pregnancies that were uneventful and produced 2 healthy boys. We were in shock. The high risk doctor basically told us the same things as the midwife. He said that in the days before ultrasounds this pregnancy would have been a 12 week unexplained miscarriage because there was a strong healthy heartbeat and the baby was growing and developing properly. He then gave us a 1% chance that this baby would have a heartbeat the next week and told us that even if our baby did have a heartbeat it would have serious chromosomal issues that were life threatening. We told him that we were leaving for Madison Wisconsin and he told us to "go and have a good time" and gave us the name of a OB in Madison that he had worked with previously just in case we needed a doctor on our trip. Then he sent us on our way with a follow up ultrasound appointment to check for a heartbeat 10 days later.

Phil and I walked out of the office in complete shock. What do we do now? Should Phil go back to work? Do we call family and let them know? Phil climbed in my car and we cried a little and then parted ways. He went back to work and I went home to relieve my mom, who was watching the boys, and tell her the news.

"A person's a person, no matter how small"

For the next few days we really went on with our "normal life" or tried to at least. I felt really strong and courageous at first. I understood what to look for in a miscarriage and if that was inevitable I was ready to go through with it. Weird I know! We even went to Madison together as a family. I admit it was a nice aversion from the "normal life" that they wanted me to have. Amazingly, I still had support thanks to my smartphone. I had communication with friends and family everyday through phone calls and email. I was even able to do a little reading online and found some miscarriage forums and felt encouraged reading other peoples stories.

When we got home from our trip my mom gave me a book about healing and prayer. I started reading the amazing stories of present day healing and felt encouraged although I had no idea what to think about our situation. I had already read through the stories of healing in the Bible and felt nothing. My baby could be dead already and I would not even know it. My prayer to this point had been for God's will and that He would protect and take care of this baby in His perfect way. The day before the ultrasound I started to pray for a miraculous healing.

We went to the follow up ultrasound on Monday June 20th. I had some anxiety going into the appointment but I also felt peace. I felt blessed to have a sting of ultrasound photos of my live baby and I was going to see my baby on the screen again. Maybe for the last time. The high risk doctor did the ultrasound himself with the midwife standing by. It was very fast. We could barely see what was going on. We did see the strong heartbeat again the baby was moving all over the place! Both the high risk doctor and midwife could not believe it! The doctor said some medical terms to the midwife, showed her the cystic hygroma that was in the head and printed out this photo for us to have and told us to meet him in his office in a few minutes. Phil said "what is going on here" and the doctor said: "Well, I believe this is a little girl with one x chromosome." What???? He could tell all of that from one quick look????????

You can see the cystic hygroma in the ultrasound below. The head looks very large. They kept saying it looked like a halo. There is fluid trapped in a pocket underneath the scalp. The doctor never said how big it was but I think that it looks fairly large in proportion to the body and it looks septated to me which is supposed to be more serious than non-septated.

The high risk doctor first talked to us about the rainy weather (what? we are small talking right now) and proceeded to tell us that our baby was a little girl with Turners Syndrome. He explained that normally girls have two X chromosomes and sometimes in the stage of cell division one of the X chromosomes is missing or incomplete. He then explained that the cystic hygroma was a sign that something (heart, kidney, etc.) was not developing properly and that eventually, as the baby's body took over more of the work of survival and my body did less, that the undeveloped organ would just give out. He estimated this happening around 16-18 weeks of pregnancy. He said that up to that 16 weeks he could still do a D&E (a procedure that removes the baby under anesthetic) but after that he would have to induce labor to deliver the baby. He told us that 49 out of 50 babies with this condition do not make it past 20 weeks.

The doctor then told us our options and alluded to termination. He was dancing around the topic and confusing us so finally Phil said "Are you talking about termination?" He said something about him being "trigger happy" and said that he could not recommend termination for us as this point because things were very unclear. (What? Because he seemed pretty clear in his description?) He said that he would do whatever I wanted. He could end everything now (so that I could move on with my life) or he would go with me to the end. He told me that there was no threat to me physical health, only emotional. He recommend that from here on out we did a weekly ultrasound to again, like before, try to catch the stopped heartbeat. We didn't even have to talk about it. We were staying the course and set up an ultrasound for the following Monday.

Why? Because "a person's a person, no matter how small"

So I went home and Phil went back to work. We alerted our family to the new developments. Even though we had been given bad news again and no hope from the doctors WE WERE HOPEFUL! The baby had a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!! We saw our baby moving around and he/she had grown! We also thought that we were having a girl! We could actually make a girl! We could name her and tell our families about her. We also had a diagnosis: Turners. I looked online that afternoon and found a foundation for girls and women with Turners. There was a collection of photos of sweet little girls that looked normal to me but all had Turners!

We stayed the course and kept praying. LOT'S of people were praying. More than we will ever know! Thank you all for that. We realized that the more people we told about our story the more support we had and the more prayers were being said. We were put on prayer lists and my Bible Study ladies prayed and cried over me. Cards and emails of encouragement were coming in everyday! I was humbled completely to my knees. My prayer was changing and evolving. My prayers were coming from a place of desperation and thankfulness both at the same time.

By the end of the week I did something that I had not yet done. I researched cystic hygroma and found a discussion board on babycenter.com. I started to read stories of people going through the same things that we were going through. It was a huge encouragement and came at a much needed time. Moms and dads had posted their hopes, fears, tragedy, and success! Yes, I said success!!!!!!!!!!!!! For this first time since that first ultrasound I was reading stories of babies diagnosed just like mine that were survivors. And get this, not only were they survivors but a lot of them were perfectly healthy!!!!!!!!!! My attitude started to change again. There really was hope even when the doctors said there was none!

On June 27th we went in for another routine ultrasound to check on the heartbeat. I found I was less nervous sitting in the waiting room. I had decided in my head that this whole situation was not a quick fix and realized that we were going to be doing this every Monday for most of the summer. And really, I was okay with it. We had already decided that the duration of life was unknown to ALL human beings not matter if you are 9 weeks in utero or 99 years on this earth. We believe that God has a plan for all of our futures no matter how short or long because:

"A person's a person, no matter how small"

I laid down for the ultrasound and the high risk doctor came in and while he was setting things up we small talked again. I was wearing a Bethel Sweatshirt and he noticed it and told us that his wife had graduated from Anderson College. So we talked a little about that and told him that we had both gone to Bethel and met there. He then told us that his wife was a doctor too. Suddenly we had moved from sharing professional information to personal information. For the first time we knew something about him that made him seem more human and just a normal guy doing his job.

He started in with the ultrasound and found the heartbeat right away. He poked around and said nothing. Phil and I just looked at the screen. There was our baby, again, moving all over the place with a strong beating heart. Finally, the doctor said: "Now this is really freaky." When he said that I felt like my heart stopped beating and that I might just throw up all over the machine. "What NOW?????" I thought. Phil, like always, said "What is going on?" The doctor said something like: this looks like a normal and perfectly healthy baby. Again, he said "This is really freaking me out." The doctor then said: "If this was your first ultra sound, I never would have suspected any kind of problem." The tears started to come for me and no words. He then said something about this being a miraculous recovery and that prayer must have been involved? I shook my head yes to him and probably actually smiled at him for the first time ever. He then said that he didn't want to get our hopes up and that we shouldn't go and decorate a nursery but that he no longer worried about the heart beat. He did say that he wanted to keep an eye on the heart because of the fact that we had all seen the problems with the leak and the cystic hygroma. So he told us to come back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound and told us to enjoy our summer!

Praise Him!

We could tell that the doctor was thrilled! I was thrilled for him too because normally he is the bad news doctor and I was happy that he was getting to tell good news. He was so happy that when we all left the room together he announced to all of the staff that: "Rumors of this baby's demise were premature!" Everybody clapped. I wondered if maybe he was thinking that:

"A person's a person, no matter how small"

And the smallest ones sometimes prove to be the toughest and best fighters!

The ultrasound: No space helmet head and space behind the neck!

I think that the ultrasound pic looks a lot like this baby and it should (finally):

We left the office in shock! When have we not left this office in shock? So once again we called around and told family the good news. And we told them not to get too excited even though we were! People were coming out of the woodwork and telling us that they were praying! Again we went on with our summer.

On July 11th we went in for another ultrasound. I was feeling confident, finally! I was excited to get a chance to see our baby again. I also already knew that the baby had a heartbeat because I had started to feel the baby move around 12 weeks. I know it sounds crazy early but I knew what I was feeling was baby! Everything checked out fine on the ultrasound. No leaks, no fluid collecting anywhere in the body, and a strong heartbeat. The doctor was pumped he kept saying: "let's check on this miracle baby." Yes, let's! He even tried to figure out if he still thought this baby was a girl. He looked all over for boy parts and could not find any. "I'm leaning pink," he said "but don't go out and buy any pink yet or decorate a nursery." Well, we have heard that one before...maybe a little too much for our liking! It is so funny to me that with all of the technology and information out there, doctors still can't reassure you or tell you much at all?! It seems like they know just enough to really scare you.

The doctor did kind of apologize to us for the past month. He said that he only knows as much as he learned in medical school and what he has seen in his practice. He has no explanation for miracles and there are no statistics on them. Once again I was reminded that he is only human just like me. We thanked him for all of his help and he happily handed us back to the midwife. So a month after my first appointment they finally took my blood, gave me a due date and treated me like a normal patient.

So now, I guess that everything is back to normal again! I can feel the baby moving more everyday. I am feeling pretty great in general. The 2nd trimester has been good to me in the past and it is proving to be the same. The reality is that, depsite all of the ultrasound scares, this pregnancy had felt no different than my previous two. I have not had any unusual cramping or pain, no bleeding, minimal morning sickness (I get it in the evening) and a growing belly. I felt odd knowing that there was a problem but not actually feeling like there was one at all!

We are hoping that the rest of this pregnancy is uneventful but we realize that no pregnancy is a sure thing. Boy do we know that first hand now! I know this is a super long post with lots of info but I wanted to record our journey so that you all know what has been going on. I am also hopeful that someone that is going through something similar might come across this story and feel encouraged. And remember:

"A person's a person, no matter how small."

Click here to read about Bevin's birth!

Hot

2011-07-25T08:40:00.001-04:00

Just wondering how other folks are beating the heat?

Oh, To Be 3!

2011-07-17T16:20:00.002-04:00

Who has more fun? The good guy?

Or the bad guy?

When you're 3 you can pull off both!

Photos From Micah's Baby Dedication

2011-07-15T16:35:00.011-04:00

Let's just say that getting dedicated did not change Micah's feelings for the dreaded nursery. Lot's of pics to follow:

All ready to get dedicated.

Family came to participate.

It was also Mother's Day.

Grandpa Fishbaugh and Micah

Grandma Wagler

Dedicated brothers.

"So where is the cake?"

Cousins

Luke made flowers for all of the moms...

...and handed them out.

Boys lunching.

There's the cake!

Luke wanted to put a train on the cake so badly. So he did!

Family picture

Cake makes everything worth it!

Ready to get messy?

My mom, dad, and brother

One with my mom and Drewski

Micah 17 Months

2011-07-14T10:20:00.011-04:00

Does it surprise anyone that this guy likes golf too?

Micah got to tag along to golf camp.

He already knows just what to do!

Pulling the flag in and out.

Micah still loves his bears! He chews on them with love. He has four more teeth coming in!

He has dark eyes like daddy and curly blond hair like mommy!

He is in the imitation stage! Whatever Luke does he does it too exactly the same way. He has a baby sign language book from the library that he loves to look through and imitate the signs like the babies in the pictures. Yesterday when he was doing it he was even trying to take his shirt off so that he looked just like the shirtless babies in the book!

He is always ready to go outside. He goes and gets his shoes and carries them around until he gets some help. Micah also picks up Luke's shoes and follows him around with them until he gets the hint. He puts hats on his head and goes to the closet to get his coat. I think that he realizes that if he is not ready he sometimes gets left behind! He does NOT like to get left behind.

He loves puzzles and flipping through books. He also likes to get the game pieces out of board games and then set the game up in his own way! I know he is trying hard to be like all of us and keep up. His new normal is to sleep through the night. Yay! And last night was the 3rd night in a row that daddy put him to bed without nursing. As far as I'm concerned we are done with that. It seems that he has already forgotten about it anyways! Kids are amazing!

We have a new playhouse that is a huge hit with both boys. One side is a cafe with a little fridge and cooktop. We have fun placing orders from the cafe and Micah brings us pretend food in his little clenched hand. And then we pretend eat it together. He picked up on that whole thing very fast. He loves to color at the table with markers, crayons and he LOVES to stamp. I just have to keep an eye on him since he still puts all of those things in his mouth and likes dumping the box. His newest word is "oosh" for shoe. And he makes high pitched barking noises for dog and bird and a low growl for bear.

I feel like everyday he is a little bit older and more toddlerish. I sometimes forget that he can do it too and wants to be included. I'm not sure how this happened but we are cruising into the 18th month already. June flew and July is going just as fast. Until next time!

Growth

2011-07-06T16:52:00.007-04:00

I love baby veggies!

a lovely sight

Blossoms for future clusters of Riesentraube tomatoes

Baby cucumber

My Grow Box (I LOVE it)

Rosemary, basil, and buttercrisp lettuce

More Riesentraube tomato plants in our old recycling tub.

My way overgrown garden!

Remember how it all started?

I had no clue what would happen with my tiny seedlings. Some even came back to life after being deleafed by the neighborhood bunny!

The poor watermelon plant has no place to go! It is trying to get out of the fence!

My broccoli is the envy of the backyard neighbor. He wants to know my secret? Phil started laughing and said "you don't want to know!" I told him no secret here. I just spend time with them. Lot's and lot's of TLC.

Luke's fun garden!

Remember how his started?

I can tell that he has pumpkins, watermelon, flowers and sunflowers, tomatoes, and snap peas that I am afraid got started too late. He loves his garden though!

Golf Camp 2011

2011-06-23T13:01:00.006-04:00

Yesterday and today Luke had Pee Wee Golf Camp for 3-5 year olds! It was an hour each morning and the kids learned how to hit, chip, putt, and pitch from a PGA instructor. Luke has been pumped about Golf Camp for a while. He kept telling me how excited he was for his golf "camp out" and described the kids settings up tents etc. Thankfully he was not disappointed in the lack of tents! He had a blast!

"Fore"

He liked everything about it; even sitting his ball on the tee.

The instructor came around and worked with each kid. I think Luke learned a lot from him and from watching other kids.

When he came to camp he did not have a backswing.

But he started to pick one up by the end! I was impressed that he seemed to be listening to the instructor, following instructions, trying to improve, and was polite and understanding of the other kids. What more can you ask out of anyone, let alone a 3 year old!

Putting is tricky!

I really do wish golf camp was everyday.

And so does this guy:

Trip to Madison Wisconsin

2011-06-23T12:40:00.002-04:00

Last week we transferred our normal everyday happenings to Madison Wisconsin. Phil had a week long seminar at the University of Wisconsin so we tagged along! I thought that during the day the boys and I would take long morning walks on campus, eat picnic lunches, and explore museums. So that is not what happened at all! A few days before we left for the trip Phil and I started getting colds and they hung on all week. Luke started coming down with it the day we left. Thankfully we brought a plethora of hankies which were well used believe me!

The campus is really neat but it is a major part of Madison. Busy streets surround all of the buildings and I did not see myself wandering around the busy streets just to look straight up a beautiful building. We spent our mornings playing in the room, eating breakfast and snacks, and watching T.V. At noon we would meet Phil for lunch and then explore in the afternoon. I would ask Luke if he would rather go to the zoo or a playground and he always chose playground! So I did not argue and we found a playground in a residential area that we liked. Then, after playing on the playground, we would go to Target and wander around then get chocolate milks for the ride back to the hotel and they would get really sleepy. Naps in the afternoon and then we would have dinner with Phil and then wrap up the night with a swim in the pool! Maybe it doesn't sound like much but by the end of the week we were exhausted!

I also must apologize for the lack of photos taken on this trip. I took a few on my phone and posted them on Facebook throughout the week and then I took a few at the pool. If you feel a lack of "Madison" from this Madison post feel free to see the artists interpretation on the pool wall in the following photo:

Luke loved the pool but little bro Micah did not.

Getting out the wiggles!

Happy swimmers!

Hotels are fun!

Cubby Bear

2011-05-30T11:47:00.003-04:00

Micah wanted to wear this coat that I found in the back of the closet. It is sized 9 months.

Cubby or Curly?

He walked around forever like this!

Chicago Cubs Game

2011-05-30T11:24:00.006-04:00

The Bean in Millennium Park.

Looking straight up from underneath!

Getting excited!

Chicago style deep dish pizza for lunch.

It took 30 minutes to cook the pizza so we had to keep the kiddies busy. They were out of milk so they sent someone over to the 7 Eleven to get some for Luke!

Go Cubs Go!

48 degrees at Wrigley Field.

The kids did great! Really.

Good thing we had blankets, hats and gloves. I spilled hot chocolate on myself but it was the only thing that warmed me up!

Making the most of a disappointing game. Luke was sad that he didn't catch a foul ball.

Phil took some really great close ups but won't let me post for fear of copyright infringements. Apparently Phil loves the cubs so much he does not want to get in trouble with them!

Micah Cubby Bear

All smiles even though the cubs lost.

MDA Lock Up

2011-05-25T11:16:00.002-04:00

Phil showed Luke this picture of him "locked up" for the MDA.

Luke: "Daddy, did you get locked up to make money to put in your bank?"

Phil: "No buddy, I was locked up to raise money for some sick kids so that they can go to summer camp and feel better."

Luke: "Wow daddy, your are an amazing guy!"

Luke, we think that you are an amazing little boy and we can't help but smile and chuckle at your cleverness!

Get Those Veggies in the Ground!

2011-05-25T10:42:00.007-04:00

I finally planted my garden yesterday.

My seed tray was busting at the seams and it is time for this mama to step aside and let Mother Nature step in.

They have come a long way baby! I really can't believe how well they have done and acclimated to the outside!

My garden is going to be too small.

Cucumbers, flowers, tomatoes, broccoli, basil, dill and lettuce. I need a twin garden for the rest! I still would like to get some carrots, onions, snap peas, green beans and watermelon in the ground.

Now I just need to get a fence up.

Luke got his very own garden too!

He was pumped!

I tried not to help...

Micah likes attention from Sanibel.

The feeling is mutual.

They love each other!

I like that Sanibel closed her eyes.

Happiness.

Luke planting his seeds.

He made a row with his finger all on his own. I didn't even tell him to do it!

A pile of watermelon seed here, pumpkins there, who knows what will come up?

Watering his garden. He is very good at this!
Humm...I wonder what will come up?

Warmer Weather

2011-05-20T08:49:00.005-04:00

The worm sprinkler.

Does Mikey like it?

NO!

Some like getting sprayed in the face...some do not.

Isn't that a terrible face? Don't be fooled. He LOVES it!

He kept saying "My very own backyard clubhouse!"

The simple things.

Micah did not like getting sprayed but Sanibel running around make him squeal!

Splashing in puddles is more his style.

So much entertainment!

So much emotion!

He brought me all of my plants.

I hear ya Micah. Time to get those plants in the ground!

Garden Progress

2011-05-20T08:47:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Kindergarten

2011-05-17T16:34:00.004-04:00

Luke surprised me with a picture. You can see it there in the background. I was trying to take a picture of Luke with his art and look who got in the way! Everybody wants to be a star.

It is also hard to get one of these guys to stand still.

Luke told me this says: "Welcome to Kindergarten"

He has been saying that frequently and then he says: "Mom, what's kindergarten?"

How to Dominate a Maze When You're 3

2011-05-09T14:43:00.003-04:00

First choose a maze in either your Easter Activity Book or your Clifford The Big Red Dog book.

Grab a marker and start at the "start"

If at first you go the wrong way feel free to start over! Keep your eyes on the prize or in this case the carrot.

Try not to get in the "sticky peanut butter" along the way (you know, stay in the lines) at least that is what mom says. But since you're 3 just do your best!

Feel happy that you did it "all by myself"

Practice makes perfect!

Ping Pong Ball Drop

2011-05-03T22:54:00.008-04:00

Instead of an Easter Egg Hunt my brother-in-law put on a Ping Pong Ball Drop! He arranged for a small plane to drive by a field and drop out 2,500 ping pong balls in a couple of swoops.

Everyone spread out on the starting line.

It was a beautiful day in Northern Indiana!

The plane flew low and the balls dropping out were surreal. They kind of just hung there in the air and landed simultaneously.

Micah and Grandma Wagler snuggled to keep warm.

Luke was ready to GO!

And they're off.

"The Big Race" as Luke liked to call it.

A frenzy of children grabbing and running.

In a blink it was all over! Look who we found...Aunt Tiffany and cousins Arthur and Sophia.

So sunny and windy.

Free hotdogs. Luke actually ate the entire thing! You have to celebrate the picky eater.

"Cheese" or maybe we should have said "hotdog"

Hashbrown Casserole

2011-05-03T21:21:00.003-04:00

I am so thankful for my recipe box of recipes that were supplied to me at one of my wedding showers! Each guest brought a recipe to put in my box. I have tried almost every one! This one is from my cousin Sara Sparks.

Hash Brown Casserole is one of those recipes that literally everybody LOVES! This is a hit at carry-ins and family gatherings. Two words: COMFORT FOOD

Ingredients:

2 lb. bag of hash browns (cubed or shredded) thawed
1 can cream of chicken soup (or make your own)
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
2 tsp. minced onion
1 pt. sour cream
2 cups grated cheddar

Mix together all of the ingredients except the hash browns in a large mixing bowl. Add the thawed hash browns and fold the potatoes into the mix.

Bake in a greased 9 1/2 x 11 baking dish at 350 degrees for a least an hour.

Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Make this for your man...boys LOVE potatoes! It's all American.

Cream of Chicken Soup Recipe

2011-05-03T21:01:00.003-04:00

A flavorful condensed cream of chicken soup base recipe for use in dishes that call for canned creamed soups. This way you can control the amount of sodium and the best part...NO MSG! I just did the math and ONE can of store bought cream of chicken soup has 2,175 mg of sodium!! Yikes and double yikes!

Make a double batch and freeze the extra for ease in future recipes.

This recipe makes about 3 cups = 2 cans

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups chicken broth (preferably homemade so that you control the sodium and MSG)
1/2 teaspoon poultry seasoning
1/4 teaspoon onion powder (or diced onions boiled with broth for a few minutes)
1 clove of minced garlic
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt (or less; taste to test)
1/4 teaspoon parsley
dash of paprika
1 1/2 cups milk
3/4 cup flour

Instructions:

1. In medium-sized saucepan, boil chicken broth, 1/2 cup of the milk, and the seasonings for a minute or two (longer if using fresh onions or garlic).

2. In a bowl, whisk together the remaining 1 cup of milk and flour. Add to boiling mixture and continue whisking briskly until mixture boils and thickens.

Use in recipes that call for cream of chicken soup and freeze the rest!

Don't Break the Ice

2011-04-20T15:08:00.003-04:00

Micah Playing

2011-04-20T14:58:00.003-04:00

Mighty Minis

2011-04-19T11:35:00.005-04:00

Poor Micah has been under the weather. He had his first fever and ear infection last week and upon completion of his medicine, a cough and drippy nose have followed. And furthermore his unhappiness is accompanied by cutting 4 molars all at once! He is just not happy.

Phil suggested some Popsicle therapy.

I personally do not like Popsicles. I would much rather have a scoop of rich creamy ice cream but KIDS seem to flock to them. Moms don't like them because of their sloppiness. Kids like them at first but they quickly melt liquid all down the hands, lips, and face and then they lose interest and THEN they are all kinds of sticky. So I was not too eager to bring some home until I found these:

Just look at how tiny they are? They are totally cute and the perfect portion for a toddler. Plus, they leave plenty of stick to hold onto.

I snapped a bib on each boy but not a mess was made!

Some relief for all those pesky teeth!

Now you might be wondering about how nutritious these little wonders are? Not so much. The 4th ingredient is, of course, high fructose corn syrup. Bummer. It even says right on the box "natural with fruit juice." So sneaky! So now I am thinking of ways to make a similar Popsicle in size with maybe pureed fruit etc. I even wondered why there are not "chicken soup Popsicles." Wouldn't that be the perfect thing for a sick child? So I looked online and found this. It turns out that people do make them for treats for their DOG! This really made me laugh! Now I am going to have to make one for myself the next time that I make broth! I will let you know how it turns out.

Easy Granola Recipe

2011-04-14T11:40:00.006-04:00

I think that all granola recipes are easy but this one has few ingredients and for some reason that makes life so much easier for me! I like recipes that I already have all the ingredients for in my pantry. I am more likely to make it if that is the case.

So here we go: Gather your ingredients.

Crush 1 cup of nuts (I like walnuts or almonds) and dump them into your large mixing bowl.

Measure 3 cups of old fashioned oats into the same large mixing bowl.

Measure 1/4 cup of honey, 1/4 cup of butter, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon.

Pour butter/honey/spices mixture over oats and nuts in the mixing bowl.

Stir oat mixture with spoon until thoroughly coated.

Pour granola into baking dish.

Place baking dish into the oven at 275 degrees for 1 hour. Stir mixture every 15 minutes.

After an hour in the oven remove baking pan and add 2/3 cup of raisins and stir. Leave the granola in the dish to cool. (or scoop out some and eat it with a little milk right now. YUM)

Store granola in an airtight container. Yes, that is a repurposed plastic mayonnaise container. Phil said "Why are you photographing granola in a used mayonnaise jar?" He knows me too well to ask that! And we both had a good laugh.

Easy Granola Recipe:

1/4 cup butter (or use equal parts butter and extra virgin olive oil)
1/4 cup honey
1 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon of salt
3 cups Old Fashioned Oats
1 cup of crushed walnuts or almonds
(optional additional ingredients: 1 cup of coconut or 2 tablespoons of flax)
2/3 cup raisins

Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Mix ingredients into large bowl (except for the raisins) and pour into baking dish. Bake in the over for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes. After an hour remove from heat and stir in the raisins and let cool! Store in airtight container.

The reason why I wanted to started making granola is first of all because my 3 year old LOVES granola and all things breakfast. It is his most favorite meal of the day and requests it for all three meals. He also really likes breakfast cereal which is a heavily processed food that I am trying to get our family to stay away from. Have you heard before that 1 in 3 Americans born after 2000 will contact early onset diabetes? That really scares me because this includes ALL of my current and future children. That is a crazy HUGE amount and affects all my friends children and my nieces and nephews. If I have learned anything in watching "The Biggest Loser" I take comfort in knowing that early onset diabetes can be avoided.

I stumble over great blogs all the time and I recently found one called "100 Days of Real Food" It is a family that started a blog to follow their experiment of eating all real foods for 100 days and blogging about it. This blog has a lot of good information about what how to distinguish between real food and processed food. I want to give you the link to their "rule" page and also just encourage you to browse around on their blog and glean knowledge.

Why My Life is Like a Musical

2011-04-12T21:43:00.004-04:00

Ad lib

Preschool scatting.