I'm a mom and some days I have no idea what I am doing or HOW I got here? I honestly thought that I was ready for a challenge. No one has ever given me that as a reason for having children but I really was looking for a "challenge." A BOLD career move I guess you could say. I knew that it would be hard and that life would never be the same again...at least everybody that I talked to wanted to make sure that I was aware. "Oh, I know" I would reply. I guess that I was already moving in the right direction because moms need to be a "know-it-all" whether you are or not. "Fake it till you make it" is my life motto. Maybe that makes me seem shallow but parenting wisdom grows much deeper.
Genesis tells us of a perfect garden.
Genesis 3:16 reads: "To the woman He said, I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth , In pain you shall bring forth children..." See I knew that childbirth would be painful. Genesis is telling us the truth. Anyone that has given birth or watched the process KNOWS of the suffering that a woman in labor experiences. Temporary pain resulting in GREAT JOY!
However, I have come to realize that this verse in Genesis means much more when applied to motherhood. As mothers we experience great joy at a cost. Any mother knows the sacrifice that she makes daily from the moment of conception. Sacrifices like morning sickness, miscarriage, childbirth, 2:00 AM feedings, "tough love," bad decisions, good decisions, injuries, sickness, and it doesn't just end when your child grows-up and moves out. The list goes on and on. Moms end up carrying around a lot of unnecessary guilt. But the joy is still there.
We are happy when our kids are happy and vice versa. But that should not be the guage for how good of a mom you are. The joy is still there in the grief.
The reward is two fold. Children want to love their moms no matter if they did a halfway decent job or not. They want our hugs and kisses more than we want to give them. For me that is hard to believe.
The joy comes with the pain.
They are partners.