Monday, October 17, 2011

27 Weeks

Non-eventful pregnancy appointments happening around here. So thankful for that. My most recent appointment I assured Phil that he didn't need to come. It was just a quick measure, urine and blood pressure check appointment with the midwife. One thing that I have REALLY grown to love about my Dr's office is I have hardly ever had to wait! Most of my appointments have been first thing in the morning so maybe that helps. No chance yet to get behind. So at my most recent appointment my midwife was hung up in postpartum at the hospital. Another great thing about my Dr's office is that it is attached to the hospital. So the Dr's and nurses can can easily walk back and forth between the two. Since Dr. Wheeler (high risk Dr.) was already in the office he did my appointment which was entirely an ultrasound. It is his regular practice to do an ultrasound at every appointment. So I got a peek at Baby Girl!

Everything was fine and she is still a girl! I guess no worries about a surprise on that one?! Heart beat was perfect and she is growing great and measuring about a week ahead. Lots of growth in all the right places. Pretty good news considering the 1% chance that Dr. Wheeler had given us in the beginning that this pregnancy would make it beyond August! The original diagnosis seems so long ago. Was it actually a dream?

I am still having dreams. I know that vivid dreams are common during pregnancy. My most common dream is that I am bleeding which has never actually happened to me during a pregnancy. I guess that fear is hanging on strong from the original miscarriage prediction. I must have prepared myself a little to much for that one? The other dream is getting bad or bizarre news from the midwife. I will never forgot her attitude/face/etc. that first day that I met her. I am doing my best to not hold that against her (not her fault) but you have no control over your dreams right?

I have also been thinking much more about how we were offered the option to terminate at 9 and 10 weeks. It was never a real option in our minds but it does add to my emotions over this entire pregnancy. I have read accounts of woman that terminated their pregnancy over a cystic hygroma and justified by saying it was the "humane" thing to do. As far as the research that I did on my own I found that a cystic hygroma is not painful. Babies can be born with it (a fluid filled sack under the skin) and it can later be removed. An inconvenience yes but not life threatening.

My emotions ran high the other night as I was watching "The Little Couple." The Dr's were able to harvest two eggs from the lead character and were able to grow 2 embryos from the eggs. One of the embryos grew normally and one had an extra chromosome. They were visibly sad. I started to wonder what would happen to that embryo? That person? It made me think of our Turners diagnosis (missing an x chromosome) and remembered how relieved I was that our baby had a chance at survival. I realized for the first time that there are people out there that never even get the chance to be a person. I know this is happening all of the time but suddenly it all became very personal.

Sorry, not trying to get weird on you. Just recording my thoughts in case someone out there is going through something similar. Not all of my thoughts and feelings are normal, happy, or positive. It's a journey for sure. Just trying to be honest.

Micah can say cheese for the camera now! (Geeze!)

1 comment:

guppy and the worm said...

Love your photos and message!!

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